跪求几个最新的笑话,不要黄色。,
这是一个系列的,很好玩。 小白兔蹦蹦跳跳到面包房,问:“老板,你们有没有一百个小面包啊?” 老板:“啊,真抱歉,没有那么多” “这样啊。。。”小白兔垂头丧气...
2024-03-24
The Magic Mill
A long time ago, far, far away, there lived two brothers。 One of them was quite rich: the other was very poor。
The rich brother lived on a little island; he was a seller of salt。 He had sold salt for many years and had got a great deal of money。
The other brother was so poor that he had not got enough food for his wife and children。
His wife said, "What will happen to us? Do you want me and the children to die? There is nothing to eat。
Why don't you go and ask your brother for some money。"
"My brother loves his money very much。 I'm sure that he will not give me any。
Perhaps he will want to give me a handful of salt。 But I will go and see him。"
He got into his boat and sailed across to the island where his brother lived。
He found his rich brother at home, counting his money。
"What is the matter? Why have you come here?"
"Please, brother, I have no food in my house。
Please give me one of those gold pieces you are counting。"
"No。 These are mine。 You are very lazy。 Why do you not go and work?"
"I have tried to find some work, but I cannot。
Now there is no bread in my house for my children。"
"I will not give you any money, but I'll give you some bread。 If I give you a loaf of bread, will you go away and not come back?"
"Yes。
Please give me the bread。"
The rich man threw a loaf of bread to him, and he went away。
While he was on his way to his house, he came to an old man sitting by the side of the road。
"What is that you are carrying?" said the old man。 "Is it bread? I have not had any thing to eat for two days。"
He cut a piece of the loaf and gave it to the old man, who thanked him and began to eat。
When he had finished, the old man said, "Now I will do something for you。 I will show you the home of the fairies who live underground。
If you show them the bread, they will want to buy it from you。 But do not let them give you any money。 Ask them for the little mill that stands behind their door。
Do as I say, and you will become rich。 When you come back, I will show you how to use it。"
The old man then led him into a wood。
He pointed to a hole in the ground。 It looked like the hole made by a big rabbit。 Inside, the hole grew bigger and a little stone door could be seen。
"That is the fairies' home。 Get in and open the door。 I will wait until you come out," said the old man。
The poor man got into the hole, opened the door, and went in。
It was dark inside the door: for some time he could see nothing。 Then, when he could see more clearly, he saw many little fairies: they came and stood round him。
quot;What is that?" said one of them。 "Is it white bread? Please give it to us, or sell it to us。"
"We will give you gold and silver for it," said another。
"No," said the poor man。 "I don't want gold or silver。 Give me that old mill that stands behind the door, and I will give you the loaf of bread。
At first they did not want to give him the mill for the bread, so he turned away。
But some of the fairies began to cry, "Let him have the old mill。
We never use it now。 And only good people can make it work。"
Then they gave him the mill。 He put it under his arm and went out of fairy-land。
He fount the old man waiting for him。
"That is it," the old man said。 "This is how to use it。 Only good people can use it。
You must never let any other person use it。"
It was quite late when the poor man reached home。
"Where have you been?" said his wife。
"There is no fire and no food in the house。 The children are cold and crying for food。 What is that you are carrying。 It looks like an old mill。
"It is a mill," he said。 "Now watch。 Say what you want, and you will have it。"
He put the mill on the table and began to turn it。
Out of the little mill came wood for the fire, oil for lighting and cooking, clothes, corn, and many other good things。
"It is a magic mill," said his wife。
"Now we are rich。"
"Yes, but no-one must know about it。 We must hide it and use it only when no-one is watching。"
The poor man soon became as rich as his brother。
He did not keep all the good things for his own family。 He gave many things to poor friends。
When his brother heard about this, he said to himself, "I do not know why my brother has become rich。
I must find the reason for his riches。"
For a long time he tried to find the reason, but he could not。 But one day he gave a servant some money and ordered him to watch the house of his brother at night。
That night, the servant looked through the window and saw the family standing round the mill, which was working。 He went back and told what he had seen。
The next day the brother got in his boat and sailed across the water。 He said to his brother, "I see that you are now quite rich, and I know the reason。
You have a little magic mill。 Sell it to me。 How much money do you want for it?"
"I cannot sell it," said the poor man。
"It must never leave my hands。 The old man said, 'There will be great danger if you sell it or give it to any other person。
' That is what he said。"
Then the rich brother sailed away home。 But later, one dark night, he came back, went very quietly into the house, and stole the mill。
He quickly carried it to the sea, where his boat was waiting。 The
n he sailed away to his island。
But the bad brother wanted very much to make the mill work。
He did not wait until he reached home。 While he was sailing in the boat, he tried to make it work。
"Salt," he said。 "Salt is what I sell, and salt is what I want。
" Then he began to turn the mill。
Then salt bean to come out of the mill。 He laughed and began to sing。 Masses of salt came out and began to fill the boat。
The boat became low in the water。 He tried to throw some of the salt into the sea。 But more came in, masses of it。 He stopped laughing and singing。
Then he began to be afraid。
More salt came out of the mill, and soon the boat was full of it。 Then water came in and filled the boat。
The boat went down, down to the bottom of the sea, carrying with it the thief and the magic mill。
There, at the bottom of the sea, the mill is still turning, making more and more salt。
That is the reason (some people say) why the water of the sea is salty。
I。 Translation for Reference(参考译文)
神磨
很久以前,在很远很远的地方,住着兄弟俩。
其中一个很富有,另一个却很贫穷。富兄弟住在一个小岛上,他是一个盐商,他经营盐已有很多年,挣了很多钱。另一个兄弟穷得连他妻子和孩子都吃不饱。
他的妻子说:“我们该怎么办呢?你想让我和孩子们去死吗?没有东西吃了。你为什么不去向你的兄弟要些钱?”
“我的兄弟特别吝惜自己的钱,我想他肯定一分钱也不会给我的,也许他会给我一把盐,但不管怎么说我还是要去见见他。
他上了他的小船,朝他兄弟住的那个小岛驶去。
他发现他富兄弟正在家点钱。
“什么事呀?你怎么到这儿来了?”
“对不起,兄弟,我家里没吃的了,请你从正在点的那些金币中给我一枚吧!”
“不行,这些是我的,你太懒惰了,你为什么不去干活?”
“我已经努力去找些活干了,但是我找不到,现在,我家里都没有面包给孩子们吃了。
“我不会给你钱的,但我给你一块面包,如果我给你一块面包,你就离开,不要回来好吗?”
“好吧,给我面包吧。”
这位富人扔了一块面包给他,他就走了。
在回家的路上,他碰见一位老人坐在路边。
“你拿的是什么东西?”老人问,“是面包吗?我已经两天没有吃东西了。
“这面包是给我自己的孩子们的,但我不愿看到别人没有吃的。来,我给你切一片面包。”
他切下一片面包给了这位老人。老人向他道谢并吃起来。
吃完面包后,老人说:“现在我要为你做点事。我带你去住在地底下的妖精的家。如果你给他们看到这块面包,他们就会想从你手里买下。
但是,你别让他们给你钱,要他们门后立着的那个小磨。照我说的那样去做,你就会变得富有,你回来以后,我会教你怎样用那小磨。”
然后,那位老人就带他到森林里,他指了指地上的一个洞,这个洞看上去像大兔子挖的,越往里面洞也越大,可以看到一扇小石门。
“那就是小妖精的家,进去把那门打开,我等着你出来。
”老人说。
这个穷人进了洞,打开门进去了。门里边很黑:好一会儿,他什么也看不见。当他能看清楚一些时,他见到很多小妖精,他们过来围着他站着。
“那是什么?”其中有一个妖精问,“是白面包吗?请把它给我们吧,或卖给我们。”
“我们要用金子,银子买你的面包,”另一个说。
“不,”穷人说,“我不要金子或银子。只要把门后立着的那个旧磨给我,我就给你们这块面包。”
开始时,他们不愿用他们的磨换面包,于是,他转身就走。
但是,有些妖精叫了起来:“给他那旧磨吧,我们现在根本用不着,只有好人才能使用它。”于是,他们把磨给了他,他把磨夹在腋下,走出了妖精的住所。
他发现那位老人正等着他。
“就是它,”老人说,“这是使用它的办法。只有好人才能用它,你千万别让其他人使用。”
这个穷人到家时天已很晚了。
“你到哪儿去了?”他的妻子说,“家里没有火烤,没有饭吃,孩子们冷,哭着要东西吃。你带的那个东西是什么?看上去像一个旧磨。
“就是一个旧磨,”他说,“现在来瞧瞧,你说要什么,他就有什么。”
他把磨放在桌子上,开始转动。从小磨里出来了烤火用的柴禾,点灯和做饭菜用的油,还有衣服,粮食和其他很多东西。
“真是一个神磨,”他的妻子说,“现在我们富有了。”
“是的,不过,一定不能让任何人知道它。
我们必须把它藏起来,只有在没人看见时才能拿出来用。”
这个穷人很快变得像他兄弟一样富有。他不是把好东西都留在自己家。他把许多东西送给那些穷苦的朋友。
他的兄弟听说了这些,心里想:“我不知道为什么我的兄弟变富了,我必须找到他富有的原因。”
好长时间,他试图找出原因,可是他还是不知道。
有一天,他给了一个佣人一些钱,让他在晚上监视他兄弟的家。那天晚上,这个佣人透过窗户看到他们全家人围着磨站着,那个磨正在工作,他就回去把所看到的说了。
第二天,这位富兄弟上了船,开过岸来,他对他的兄弟说:“我发现你现在很富有,并且也知道为什么。
你有一个小神磨,把它卖给我吧,你要卖多少钱?”
“我不能卖,”那个穷人说,“它绝不能离开我的手。老人说过:'如果你卖掉它或把它给了其他人,必将招来大祸。'他就这么说的。”
于是,富兄弟把船开回家了。但是,在一个漆黑的夜晚,他又回来了,他悄悄地见了屋,偷走了神磨。
带着它飞快地跑到了海边。他的小船正等在那里,然后,他驶向他的小岛。
这个坏兄弟很想让磨转起来。他等不及回到家,还在船里的时候,就迫不及待地要用。
“盐,”他说道,“我是卖盐的,盐就是我所想要的。”说着他开始转动磨盘,盐开始从磨里出来了,他高兴得大笑起来,唱起歌来。
一堆一堆的盐出来了,船开始往下沉,他拼命把一些盐扔进海里,但是更多的盐从磨里出来了,一堆堆的。他不笑了,也不再唱了,接着,他开始害怕起来。
越来越多的盐从神磨里出来了,很快填满了整只船。这时,水进来了,淹没了船,船下沉了,连同这个贼和神磨一起,沉到了海底。
在海底,神磨仍然转动着,磨出越来越多的盐。
有些人说这就是为什么海水是咸的原因。
斗鸡王
王永坤
一、两“宝”赌宝
故事发生在乾隆年间。
三月初八,春风如酒,艳阳高照。豫南古黄府芒山脚下一年一度的佛光寺庙会又开始了,客商齐聚,人山人海。而最招人气的还要数佛光寺东墙根下的斗鸡台。
天刚放亮,三尺高的斗鸡台上便有斗鸡在捉对厮杀,个个翎毛直竖、翅翼急拍,或啄、或抓、或拍、或扑……台边的看客围了个里三层外三层,斗鸡台主人、人称“鸡头”的祝大牙则带着几个短衣打扮的“鸡伙计”在台上穿梭照应。
日近正午,台上变得空落落的,可看客们犹自不散,反倒越聚越多——真正的压轴好戏尚未开始呢!
近几年,斗鸡台上出现了两个斗红了眼的“斗鸡宝”:刘有宝和毕德宝。
刘有宝人称刘公子。刘家本是古黄第一富贵人家,城中拥有一座生意极是兴隆的酒楼“仙客居”,城外则有上千顷的田地,府门上挂“千顷牌”,另外,在黄河故道大拐弯处,还拥有一个上千亩水面的黑龙潭,潭中出产天下独一无二、四个鼻孔的老黄河鲤鱼,当年康熙南巡,尝了此鱼大为赞赏,不仅将此鱼列为皇宫年节贡品,还赏封刘家一套四品皇马褂。
因此,人们将仙客居、千顷牌和皇马褂称之为“刘家三宝”。
刘有宝富贵里生富贵里长,为人倒是豪爽仗义,可他整日飞鹰走狗,尤其嗜好赌博。老管家刘老忠急得不行,一再规劝刘有宝,刘有宝早厌烦了刘老忠的絮叨,索性将他辞了,另聘与自己脾性投缘的同窗好友黄之光为管家。
黄之光是抱着两只斗鸡进刘府的,刘有宝一见,立马就热上了这高腿长颈、威风凛凛的斗鸡。俗话说“穷溜狗,富斗鸡”,仗着财大气粗,在黄之光的建议下,刘有宝派人西去开封、东到海州,买来了几十只各色名品斗鸡,又聘了个专门养鸡的鸡倌王小三,整日抱着斗鸡寻人斗,人送绰号“斗鸡宝”。
时逢太平盛世,中州斗鸡风盛,佛光寺祝大牙的斗鸡台便成了周边四省二十八县斗鸡人的风水宝地,刘有宝的斗鸡一连几年称霸斗鸡台。祝大牙为讨好这尊财神爷,便自制一个花红金匾,上书“斗鸡王”三个墨黑大字,送给了刘有宝。
然而风水轮回,自前年前开始,刘有宝称霸斗鸡台的日子便被毕德宝结束了。
这毕德宝不知是何方人士,只记得现任知府汤怀高上任那年,他在府衙对面开了一家专卖金银珠宝、豪奢无比的金凤宝楼。人们粗略一估,都说只怕刘家三宝也顶不上这一座金凤宝楼,真乃“一宝”压“三宝”!这毕德宝不仅夺去了刘家古黄首富的金交椅,而且偏偏他也是个“斗鸡宝”,家中也养有一窝子斗鸡,听说刘有宝成了斗鸡王,大是不服气,便向刘有宝下了挑战书,堪称不是冤家不聚头!
两个富豪斗鸡,所下赌注自然是小不了。
前年,两人各抱出自己的斗鸡,毕德宝便掏出一张十万两的银票押在斗鸡台的台面上,刘有宝是个土财主,拿不出这么多现银,便将仙客居的契据押上了,算是旗鼓相当。按斗鸡规矩,双方先互相观察对方的斗鸡,谓之“对鸡”;然后抱鸡上台撒手,谓之“放鸡”。与此同时,台角的鸡伙计便点起一炷能燃小半个时辰的朝天香,每斗一炷香的功夫,便算作一“盘”,双方共斗三盘,即头盘、中盘和残盘。
每盘之间,略作休整,鸡伙计将斗鸡抱起,用嘴噙水往鸡身上喷洒,给浑身起热的斗鸡降降温,使之稍稍恢复体力,谓之“使水”。三盘战罢,刘有宝那只以往屡战屡胜“疙瘩冠”竟被毕德宝的那只不起眼的小斗鸡斗得落荒而逃!刘有宝哪肯服输,当下与毕德宝击掌为誓,约定来年庙会再斗。
谁知到了去年,刘有宝和黄之光精心驯养的“小黑嘴”又败在了毕德宝的斗鸡爪下,输掉了“千顷牌”! 崽卖爷田不心疼,刘有宝一咬牙,今年把最后“一宝”皇马褂当赌注,依旧来佛光寺赴斗鸡之约!
刘、毕两家斗鸡赌宝,两年来一直是人们津津乐道的话题,而今年谁胜谁负的悬念更是扣人心弦,千万双眼睛紧紧地盯住了斗鸡台。
二、铁公鸡大战一品红
随着一声铜锣响,刘、毕双方开始“对鸡”。
刘有宝今年抱出斗鸡深眼窝、豆绿眼,浑身铁灰色,羽毛光泽闪闪似黑缎,模样呆而不笨,丑而不俗,一望而知不是中原斗鸡品种。
确实,这是一只产自吐鲁番的斗鸡,名叫“铁公鸡”。自去年再次落败后,刘有宝和黄之光反复计议,觉得自家中原品系的斗鸡恐怕都不是毕家斗鸡的对手,听人讲吐鲁番斗鸡骁勇善战,雍正朝大将军年羹尧曾将吐鲁番斗鸡上贡宫中呢,便派人千里迢迢从蕃王府里不惜重金挑选了这只铁公鸡。
铁公鸡名不虚传,来佛光寺前曾与当地几只名鸡试斗,无不以秋风扫落叶之势将对手啄垮在地。
毕德宝也抱出了自己的斗鸡。这是一只羽毛呈枣红色的斗鸡,屁股后拖着翠绿的大镰尾,颇像官老爷纬帽后的花领戴,骨架也不小,挺胸翘尾,一副官态,待毕德宝一报鸡名,这鸡的名字竟也官气十足,叫做“一品红”!刘有宝斗了几年鸡,也算是个内行了,一眼便看出“一品红”是个中看不中用的花架子,便同一旁的黄之光交换了一下会意的眼神,一撒手放开了铁公鸡。
果然,铁公鸡一上场就斗性十足,嘴啄、翅扫、爪蹬,杀得一品红只有招架之功而无还手之力,战至中盘,一品红被铁公鸡狠狠啄了几嘴,头上鲜血四冒,绕着台子直打转,已成了逃鸡。中盘后使水时,刘有宝长出了一口气:斗鸡圈子里有句行话,叫做“逃鸡架不住三圈撵”,到了残盘铁公鸡定能乘胜追击,为自己赢回千顷牌!他不无得意地瞥了瞥对面的毕德宝,却发现毕德宝比他还要洒脱,不慌不忙地摇着描金折扇,阳光下扇坠子一闪闪的。
就在这时,台上传来“咯”地一声鸡的怪鸣,接着一个鸡伙计对祝大牙惊恐大叫:“不……不好了,吴老倌使水使过了头,把铁公鸡喷倒架了!”祝大牙慌了手脚,三步并作两步奔过去,一把推开那个吴老倌,蹲下来抱过铁公鸡,搂在怀里,一边为鸡暖身子,一边往鸡鼻孔里吹气,无奈全不见效,只见铁公鸡曲背蜷腿,缩成一团,除了偶尔转转眼珠之外,简直成了一只木鸡!台下的刘有宝和黄之光也顾不上鸡主人不得上台的规矩了,飞步跨上台,见此情景,目瞪口呆:煮熟的鸭子又飞了!
祝大牙惶恐不安地站起身,对刘有宝结结巴巴地道:“刘公子,小人……小人认赔,认赔!”
“呸!你小子赔得起吗?把你小子剥了皮,骨头磨成碴,怕也抵不上皇马褂的一只袖子!”没等刘有宝答话,却见毕德宝不知啥时候也上了斗鸡台,气咻咻地指着祝大牙的鼻子,连声呵斥,看得出他的火气比刘有宝还要大。
祝大牙无奈之下,一咬牙道:“二位爷莫生气。
这位吴老倌是个身无分文的老叫化,三天前在这儿转悠,小人见他会说几句斗鸡的行话,便招他当了鸡伙计,全怪小人瞎了眼!按咱斗鸡行的规矩,小人今天来个金盆洗手——先剁一只手给二位爷,然后拆了斗鸡台,从此再不踏进斗鸡场半步!”说着右手抽出利刃,扬手就往左手剁去。
The House of 1000 Mirrors
千镜之屋
Long ago in a small, faraway village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors。
A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit。 When he arrived, he hounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house。
He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could。 To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his。
He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and firendly。 As he left the House, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place。
I will come back and visit it often。"
In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house。
He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door。 When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him。
As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again。"
All the faces in the world are mirrors。
What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?
很久以前的一个很远的小村庄里,有一个以"千镜屋"而著名的地方。
一个乐观的小狗听说了这个地方并决定去参观。当来到这个地方,他蹦蹦跳欢恰快的上了台阶,来到房门口,他高高竖起耳朵,欢快地摇着尾巴,从门口往里张望,他惊奇地看到有1000只欢乐的小狗像他一样快的摇尾巴。他灿烂地微笑着,回报他的是1000张热情,友好的灿烂笑脸。
离开时他心想:"这是一个精彩的地主,我一定要经常来参观。"
在这个村里还有另一只想参观"千镜屋"的小狗,他不及第一只小狗乐观,他慢吞吞地爬上台阶,然后耷拉着脑袋往屋子里看。一看到有1000只小狗不友好地盯着他,他便开始冲他们狂吠,镜中的1000只小狗也冲着他狂吠,把他给吓坏了,他在离开时心想:"这是一个恐怖的地方,我再也不会来了。
世界上所有的脸都是镜子,在你所遇见的人的脸上你看到反射出来的是什么?。
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