找几个英语故事

自己在英语书上找

  Ground Rules

　　One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor。

   Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don‘t mind if you look at your watches during class。

   I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they‘re still running。"

　　基本原则

　　位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。

  在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时，他说：“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味，了无生趣，所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。”

Present for Girlfriend

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend。

   "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked。

　　The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘。

   That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again。"

　　送给女友的礼物

　　在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。

　　那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”

Midway Tactics

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall。

   Observers waited for mayhem to ensue。

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE"。

　　中间战术

　　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

　　右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

　　左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

　　中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

I'll See to the Rest

A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage。

"Come on, miss!" he shouted。 "Shut the door, please!"

"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back。

"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest。"

其余的事由我负责

一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动,这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边,跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。

　　“快点,小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”

　　“噢,我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。

　　“请把门关上好了,”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”

Little mouse(小老鼠)

It’s a sunny day。

   A little mouse wants to go out and play。

这是一个晴朗的一天。一只小老鼠想要去外面玩

But he is afraid of the cat 。 so he peeks and peeks。

但是它害怕猫。 所以左看看右看看

He peeks to the left and peeks to the right。

它看了左边又看右边

Suddenly, the mummy mouse shouts。

突然，老鼠妈妈叫道：

“watch out! Watch out! The cat is here , the cat is here。”

“小心！小心！ 猫在这里，猫在这里”

A fox and a goat

An unlucky fox fell into a well, It was quite deep, so he could not get out by himself。

A goat came。 He asked the fox:”what are you doing? The fox said : "There will be no water, so I jumped down to get some water。

   Why don’t you jump down, too?"

The goat jumped into the well。

But the fox jumped on the goat’s back and out of the well。

   "Good-bye, friend," said the fox。 "Remember next time don’t trust the advice of a man in difficulties。"

Thank you!

狐狸和山羊

一只不走运的狐狸，失足掉到了井里。

  井很深，他无法跳出来。

一只山羊经过这里，便问狐狸在井下做什么。狐狸说：“哦，你没有听说吗？这里将要大旱，因此我跳进来取水，为什么你不下来一起喝呢？”

山羊相信了狐狸的话，就真的跳进井里。

  狐狸立即跳上山羊的背，又一跳，跳上了井沿。

“再见，朋友，”狐狸说，“记住，不要相信一个身陷麻烦的人的建议。”。