谁能介绍几个酒桌上的经典小笑话？

  之一：说的是这位朋友外出公干，在一大酒店招待客户，宾主一一坐定后，招呼服务员问道：

“这酒多少钱一瓶？”

“400，开吗？”

“开，开……开……开……开，开什么玩笑！”

就在他“开什么玩笑”还没说出来时，服务员已经将酒打开。

既然已经打开了，那就喝吧。眼见着一瓶又一瓶地喝光了，服务员又拿了一瓶走到他跟前问道：

“这瓶还开吗？”

“你开，开……开……开……开，开了我也不喝！”

同样，就在他“开了我也不喝”还没说出来时，服务员又已经将酒打开了。

之二：关于他孩子小姨的短小对话。

问：“听说你孩子她小姨下岗了？”

答：“嗯。”

问：“真下岗了，那她平时干什么？”

答：“在汽车南站买银，银……银……银……银，银杏。

我的天啦，终于说明白了。

与同事到外地出差，当地的同事热情好客，当晚便在一特色酒店的包间设宴接风。只有一个人在点菜。

点好了，征求大伙儿意见：“菜点好了，有没有要加的？”

于是一位北京的哥们儿说：“小姐，报报。

小姐看了他一眼，没动静。

“小姐，报一下！”哥们儿有点儿急了。

小姐脸涨得通红，还是没动静。

“怎么着？让你报一下没听见？”哥们儿真急了。

一位女同事赶紧打圆场：“小姐，你就赶紧挨个儿报一下吧，啊。

小姐嗫嚅着问：“那，那……就抱女的，不抱男的行吗？”

“噗！”边上一位女同事刚喝的一大口茶全喷前边人身上了。十几个人笑做一团，小姐更是不知所措。

一、儿童英语小故事有哪些呢？

  给你三篇,你选一篇吧。 The Old Cat An old woman had a cat。 The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old。

   One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse。 But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it。

   Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse。 She began to hit the cat。 The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant。

   I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old。 Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young。

  " 【译文】 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。

  她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。” A man was going to the house of some rich person。

   As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road。 He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat。

  " Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust。 He went on and came to a river。 The river had become very big; so he could not go over it。

   He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river。" He began to go home。

   He had eaten no food that day。 He began to want food。 He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them。

   Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time。 【译文】 一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。

  ”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。 他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。” 他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。

   不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。 The City Mouse and the Country Mouse Once there were two mice。 They were friends。 One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city。

   After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country。" So the City mouse went。

   The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good。 Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city。

   You would live in a nice house made of stone。 You would have nice food to eat。 You must come and see me at my house in the city。

  " The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse。 It was a very good house。 Nice food was set ready for them to eat。

   But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise。 The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid。

   After some time they came out。 When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city。 I like living in my hole in the field。

   For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid。" 【译文】 城里老鼠和乡下老鼠 从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。

  ”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。

  ” 乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。 过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。

  因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。”。

二、竞争小故事（一定要经典）急急急急！！！！！！