英语小笑话！急急急急！要中文

  One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living。

   The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree。

   The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。

  这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"

A man goes to church and starts talking to God。

   He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。

  他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士。"男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟。"最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟。"

A Woman Who Fell

It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back。

   Her momentum carried her close to my shoes。 Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up。 Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

摔倒的女人

上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。

  接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him。

-- He is really somebody。 What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery。

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

-- 墓地守墓人。

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed。

   He hurt himself。

Tommy: That's too bad。 How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won。

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan。

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother。

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan。

   "I have his ear in my pocket。"

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

这些可以吗？

如果对有帮助，请采纳我的答案。谢谢你~

等等哈

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents。

   "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered。

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly。

   "Here are two cents more。 But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy。

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。

  可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”。

一、提供英语春节小笑话，急！！！